party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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