Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize