he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
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