Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
