Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
