i'm signing you up for texting rehab
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
