have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
