I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
