love makes seman taste better
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
