so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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