Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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