I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
