We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize