did you get engaged???
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
