are you still at the devil's house?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
