I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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