i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
