how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
