I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
