Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
