I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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