i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
