i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm always down for nudity.
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