Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
