i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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