i permit you to call me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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