The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
In other news, I just burned my penis
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
