this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
