I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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