It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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