The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
