I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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