we have officially lost it.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I would ride that face into the sunset
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