omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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