new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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