MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
