I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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