She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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