my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
