My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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