how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
