I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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