i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
