"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
