have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The adults are the big ones right?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize