do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
