just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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