some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
