He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I AM VODKA MAN
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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