Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
