Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
