so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
