am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Drake has all the answers
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I need a beard to bite.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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