For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize