you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Can Purell be used as lube?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
