Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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