She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
