Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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