I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
