White coat. Heels.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
