I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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