Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
