I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
