She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
