You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
