I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
